Whew! It is an honor to be asked to share your story at an AA speaker meeting but it is also a challenge! That someone thinks I can help others by sharing my story of recovery is awesome - for so long all I could do it take from others. I told "my story" at the District 17 Breakfast Speakers Meeting this morning.

Going back into what it was like and what happened is so hard. I tend to forget the bad events and feelings - it is the past and a great deal of it was painful. I would like to remember only the good stuff. To be effective I have to be real and that requires going back and reviewing what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. It is in the telling of how it really was that new people can know that I lived a life just as crazy and chaotic as theirs and when I stopped drinking and starting applying the steps and traditions my life changed and is what it is today as a result of living sober and growing spiritually and emotionally with the AA way of life as my guidelines. The message being if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired there is a way out. If you want what I have you can have it by applying the steps and traditions. It is a miracle but it is one that is available to anyone that truly wants their life to be different... and I really wanted it to be - or I was stepping off the ride.

Now I think there is alot of things I wish I had of shared that I don't think I ddi. Funny how when I'm speaking I don't really remember what I share - I just try to tell the truth and share what comes to mind. I trust God will make what will be helpful come out of my mouth because I say a prayer before I step up to the podium. Lyle taped it and said he'll give me a CD tomorrow - I'll get to listen to it and know what I said then!

We're off to a retirement party for one of Jack's former co-workers now. You know you are getting old when your Saturday parties are held from 1 pm to 3 pm instead of 10 pm to 3 am!

Life is good! Full of friends and activities!

Later this afternoon Signe and I will go for a "jog". My back has been out for a couple of days and I have been sluffing off on running - giving it time to recover from the phisic ball workout at the YMCA on Wednesday morning that through it out. Not doing that routine any more!

Tomorrow there is a Linkville Lopers 5K run out at the Wildlife Habitat that Signe and I want to run. It used to be called the Bald Eagle Run and it was the first Fun Run Signe and I ever did together - that was 10 years ago! I still have the tee-shirt. Since the sign up fee is only $5 tomorrow I don't think there will be tee-shirts this time. It feels good to be signing up for a fun run again. I haven't participated in one for several, several years now.

And so my life goes on! Hope all of you are doing well and enjoying your lives - it's the only one you get!

Sunday we had a great time on shoe shoes! Signe, Leo, Aleesha, Wolf, Jesime, Jack and I met went tramping through the snow at the Day Use area in Fort Klamath. Signe demonstated snow shoe running techniques, Wolf pointed out the different animal tracks in the snow, Sarah tested the Wood River water, and Mike romped like he was a young stud in the deepest snow he's heen to date! Jack and I just enjoyed it all - the clear blue skies, the brisk air, talking and laughing with friends! As we circled around the area we saw freshly fallen alder that beaver had cut down. Wolf pointed out river otter track which explained why Mike was looking into every bush so intently!

Suddenly, through the trees, a streak of golden fur came hurling towards Jack. It was Max! Nancy and Ed's golden lab who dearly loves Jack. After coming as close as possible without body slamming him Max circled around us. Close behind were Pan and Clydie - Tracy and Carl's black labs, followed by Little Max and Jesse - their snouzers! So we knew who was on the trail coming towards us before we saw them. Great minds think alike! It was such a great day - to walk the dogs outside was the only way to spend it!

We all chatted for a bit and then went in our seperate directions. They had just started their walk and we had been out there for 2 hours already! At the parking lot we agreed that stopping at the Mexican resturant on Hwy 97 was a great idea too. So we filled up that little resturant and continued our conversations over good hot food!

All in all a great Sunday afternoon!

The plan is for me to start my new job on January 22! It seemed like I was interviewing "everywhere" in town for a long time but the reality is that I'll start work on Jack and I's two month aniversary so my job search in Klamath Falls was about 6 weeks.

The job is as a techinical asssistant primarily working on data integrity and database server maintanence for 1 department. One element on what I used to be responsible for, just like I asked for from God. I had said several times I'd really like to leave for my honeymoon knowing I was coming back to a job! I am astounded at how many of my prayers have been answered in the last few months!

I go in for the drug screen and to fill out the forms for the background check this Monday and start the following Monday! I am excited about working again. Sis reminded me that it'll be 17 years before Social Security will let me retire with full benefits! :-) That doesn't seem so far in the future these days! And the company is fine about Jack and I's honeymoon in early February. I'll work for 9 days and then be gone for 13 days! What a deal, huh? It will be nice to have an idea of what my job is and what I'll be coming back to!

Benefits, lots of paid days off, 401K - the whole bundle! And it is about 2 miles from our house! I can walk it! Life is good!

It was interesting how Jack took the news and we had an opportunity to learn a little more about each other! It takes me a couple days to get mad... it takes Jack a while to show joy/happiness. He knows now that I like to celebrate good news and spend at least the same amount of time being happy and discussing the positive possibilities as was spent worrying and discussing the problems of a situation! It's a different approach/response for him but I have every confidence he'll love it when he gets used to it! I think it is very true that if humans don't concentrate on the positive and celebrate the good things they gravitate and dwell primarily on the negative. I made the choice a few years ago to be aware of this and make the changes in how I spend my energy. I hope Jack will make that same choice. My life has become "happier" just from that one change and it has lead to others that have all improved my outlook on life.
Enough philosophy!

Off to bed for me.

I did 5 laps in the pool this afternoon and then they closed it down! We didn't time our swim session well. In reading Jack's dive manual last night I found out the things I have to do to get certified. Be able to swim 10 laps in a regulation size pool without stopping and tread water for 5 minutes. I can't remember how long it has been since I swam laps! I've spent a lot of time in water but I'm not positive that will carry me through ten laps so Jack and I started our swimming regime at the YMCA this afternoon. Unfortunately 5 minutes before it closes for cleaning be for open swim at 3 pm. We'll try again tomorrow - now that we have the pool schedule.

Signe and I ran this morning. I experienced difficulty in breathing for the first time to the extent I had to stop and couldn't even tell her I needed to stop. It was rather painful. I just could not get air in to my lungs! It felt like the air stopped at the end of my throat and hurt. We walked to the top of the incline we'd been jogging up after I managed to stop wheezing and then I was able to run again until on the return (about 15 minutes later) we started going up another incline - again the air jammed in my throat and we had to walk. It was very cold - about 19 degrees but Signe wasn't experiencing any difficulty. All we can figure is I'm not completely climatized to 4,200 feet yet and that combined with the extreme cold and running uphill caused my "breathlessness".

21 days until we leave for our honeymoon! We've made the arrangements for the house/dog sitter and for a room in Medford the night before and after our flights. I'm diligently studing Spanish but only a few words seem to be sticking in my brain!

Still no word on any of the positions I have applied for so I continue to read the Help Wanted ads.

That is my life today. Hope all is well with all of you out there!

We've had two days of freezing fog! No sunshine! Jack told a friend he is convinced I suffer from SAD - I've been grumpier than he's ever seen me the last two days. Could be true.

The interview process today took from 8 am to 11 am. Several different tests followed by a group interview. Everything I heard was positive - including them saying they would contact me by the end of the week to let me know their decision. The position is as a technical person but has more to do with databases and data integrety than hardware and network maintanence. It would be a nice change! Knowing that things will work out as they are supposed to really takes a great deal of the tension out of the interview process but I do hate it. The feeling of not being good enough is a tough one to keep at bay. Countering it with thoughts that its a matter of a right fit not a matter of "good enough" and remembering to trust God are my antidote to the self-defeating feelings. It's really nice that they said they would call - It will be the first ones to do so... if they do.

Last night Brett and I instant messaged for a good while. It's the first time Jack has witnessed that mode of communication. It is pretty neat to chat with a loved one so far away.

Nothing else is new in my little realm. Hope all is well with every one of you out there!

Shopped until we dropped today - Signe and I hit our favorite stores! I now have a cover or wrap for the three bathing suits I own so I can get to and from the beach and eat at resturants without changing more than adding the cover. I have accepted the fact that I am not likely to develop a body that should stroll down the boardwalk in a bathing suit! :-) I've got all my travel sized lotions etc in the quart zip-lock baggie as required. I'm getting ready!

Jack thinks I'm bueatiful just as I am so I'm not going to get crazy about losing wieght before our trip. If running and excersizing make things better before then that will be great but I'm not going to do any big diets or fasts. It is wonderful to be accepted just as I am!

Tonight Jack is playing poker with the boys at Eric's and I am working on getting his notebook computer updated to XP SP2, watchig Sci-Fi TV, and just relaxing in general. Life is good!

I've resolved to work atleast an hour on learning Spanish. I have a CD that seems pretty good. I am going to work on that now.

Hope everyone is having a great Saturday night!

Happy New Year! We brought 2007 in with a Murder Mystery Dinner called the "Chicago Caper". Staying awake until Midnight on New Years Eve was never so easy! Everyone came dressed in character and throughly got in to solving the mystery! Along with a ton of laughs we took a good number of pictures and I edited and loaded them today!

I got it all done today because my back is out from walking around on 4 inch heels for 5 hours! I forgot to sit down New Years Eve! Lots for a speakeasy owner to do when the house is full! I woke up this morning and was barely moving. Other than soaking in the hot tub until completely pruned I have done nothing but work loading, editing, and getting the pictures set up for viewing. Enjoy!

The night before New Years Eve Lyn and Cheryl hosted a reception for Jack and I at Cheryl's house. Most of our friends where out of town when we married in November so they got togeather to wish us well on December 30th. These are the majority of Jack and I's closest friends in Klamath Falls. The big celebration where we hope all our family and friends will be present will be on June 9th.

We now have exactly one month before we leave for our honeymoon!!!

Christmas is almost here! Jack asked this morning when we get to open presents! That's the first sign that he is getting excited about Christmas.

When we pulled out our seperate Christmas decorating stores we found we have many of the same types of ornaments and they all blended great on our tree. I have never seen the bubble lights that Jack has! They are really neat and add gentle movement to the lighting... not the strobe light action that triggers ecteleptic fits!

We're ready! All our packages have been sent. We've received presents from Florida (that's when Jack got curious about when we open presents.) and our little presents to each other are wrapped and under the tree.

Our BIG present to each other is a double recliner/rocker that was delivered last week! It has the central position in the family room where we can snuggle. If I watch a TV show, Jack watches a few minutes of TV, reads awhile, and naps. If Jack is "surfing" the 100's of TV channels as he calls watching TV, I read, work on my laptop, or watch the 45 seconds of each show as they flip by like a slideshow. We're togeather all the while! I love it.

I will start cooking tomorrow for the Christmas lunch we are having Dad over for. We have been invited to a big dinner at Pat's house and for dessert at Mark and Rebecca's. We will be eating ALL day. Good thing we finnished our YMCA radical body makeover last Wednesday!

I lost some body fat (about 7 pounds) but not any on the scales! Muscle weighs more than fat! So they say. Jack's results were simular. Our goal is to be in shape for scuba diving and we are headed in that direction. I am running this afternoon with Signe to keep up the cardio workouts and hopefully loose a few pounds before February 2nd!

Merry Christmas to all of you. Love what you do with the day!

The days go by quicker since I have no set schedule! Jack and I fill every day and are exhusted and in bed by 8 pm! We get up and go to excersize class at 5 am and seem to be going all day from then on.

Today I went for a 2nd interview for a customer service job in an insurance agency at 8:30 am and was there until 10. Jack's brother and his children came to Klamath Falls and we joined them at their Dad's and then went to lunch at the Airport. We are all admirers of a Good Hamburger! It was good to get to meet Jack's nephew and his wife who live in Arizona and to see his niece Kim again. It was a quick visit for them... the challenge being to get back over the passes before dark.

Jack and I went from lunch to the Passport office in our local post office and got my application sent off! We are going to the little fishing villiage in Mexico that I went to in 2001! I'll get the spelling and then tell you where it is! Z something. We made the reservations at Casa Elvira today and will confirm the flight reservations tomorrow for February 2 to the 12th! Whaahooo!

On this very productive day I have also uploaded the wedding pictures to Flickr!

Busy Monday! :-)

Here are some pictures of the new china hutch! It's filled with the remainder of Mom's Nortaki china and the pretty pieces I've collected over the years. The picture of the poppies on the wall next to the hutch was painted by Jack's Mom. And the flowers on the table are from our wedding night! They are staying wonderfully. All together the dinning room is looking very good, I think.

The job that looked so promising was offered to another so I am back to filling out applications and printing up resume's.

The holiday shopping is DONE! Yeah! Just have to wrap what we got. Brett did get his christmas package before Christmas! That is neat. We're thinking we'll make a trip up north to get the rest of the family their goodies.

Hope the holidays are going well for the rest of you all! Happy Holidays!

Jack and I made our first big purchase yesterday and I spent the biggest part of the day washing my pretties and putting them in it! It's a bueatiful china hutch! More boxes got emptied with this addition! I've spent this morning taking pictures of the house before I make to many more changes! Got to have the "Before" pictures!

I'm off to a woman's meeting.

These have been two busy days! Yesterday I did two rounds of interviews for an advertising/tech position and met with Jack's financial advisor. I'm rolling my previous retirement accounts into a personal IRA that I can manage from here.

Didn't here back from the company I applied to yesterday but I did attack the kitchen and just about have it done. There were canned goods that had expiration dates in 1992 in the cubboards! Jack was great about just dumping everything out. We purchased an additional pantry unit and I moved all the food in to the pantries where I can see what we have and have used the kitchen cupboard space for all the dishes, bowls, and kitchen gadgets that we have! I've emptied all my kitchen boxes and we have created several boxes of kitchen stuff to go to my youngest son Mike when he gets ready to move into his own place.

The realtor showed my house a couple times but hasn't had any offers yet. Two weeks on the market is two weeks off the 90 days they predict it will take to sell.

I beat so am going to sign off with wishes that everyone is enjoying the holiday season!

Snow fell again last night and undid the tidy driveway and sidewalk's from yesterdays efforts. Jack broke out the snow blower today! It's like driving a rototiller in many ways! I only did one pass but it is something I think I will have to master if this weather continues!

I think I have the name changes completed. The new drivers license photo is the standard "worse possible" but it only took 12 minutes at DMV to take care of everything so I'm not to upset about the photo. Social Security took only a little longer. It is so nice being in a small town again. A long line is 7 people (except Black Friday).

I updated my resume's and handed out two today. I also got a call about another position that I called on. Things are already moving faster than they were in Portland!

Cheryl emailed me the wedding pictures from her camera but they are embedded in the email and I haven't been able to extract them yet! There are some very good ones but the neatest thing was seeing the Mike is in almost every one of the ceremony pictures - standing with Jack and I as we said our vows! I'll post them as soon as I can - stay tuned!

We made the rounds to the courthouse, social security, and DMV getting all the name changes done today. I drove in the snow for the first time today in 11 years. With snow tires it really wasn't to big a deal. I did see others having some difficulties on the hills and Caleb shared a tale of going backwards through an intersection on black ice this morning on his way to work. Portland is a sheet of ice whereas we get both.

Last night I finally got around to setting up the router so Jack and I can both be on the internet at the same time and while I was at it I tried setting up the wireless portion. My sister was right. It was easy and setting up the encryption was easy. So I'm upstairs at the diningroom table creating this post while Jack cleans up dinner dishes.

Finally I can upload the picture of my engagement ring that I've mentioned a time or two! I now have the wedding band which is twelve small diamonds! I'm inspired to keep up my fingernails!

I still can't hardly believe they are mine, they are so bueatiful.

We took some pictures at the ceremony with our digital camera but Cheryl, my witness took most of the pictures with her camera and has promised to email them. With the holidays she's been swamped with family and hasn't sent them yet. We don't have any pictures of Jack and I togeather but here is one of me and Cheryl and Rebbecka in front of the fireplace where Jack and I spoke our vows.

We'll say the same vows again during the family and friends wedding ceremony in the Spring. We each wrote our own and Lyle, the minister, shared some pretty special sentiments too. We're waiting to hear from Brett on if late May or early June would work best for him to come from Japan before we set a date.

It's not been a week yet and it must show because everyone accuses us of looking way too happy!

Today Jack and I enjoyed shoveling snow from both our and his dad's driveways about dawn and a late afternoon walk along the Link River trail with Mike. We have come to the conclusion Mike is a snow dog... he prefers his water frozen and on the ground. He absolutally romps through the snow! Coming back to us with snow up to his eyebrows! We don't think he'd really make it as an Alaskian sled dog though... if the wind rustles the bushes he goes in to a four point crouch and you can see the whites of his eyes.

The wind is blowing and snow continues to fall so we are all happily tucked in for the day. Hope each of you enjoyed some piece to the day!

We braved the early bird shopping crowds and got most of the Christmas shopping done by 10 AM! Fred Meyer wasn't as crowded and difficult at Big R and that was better than Staples (which we just walked through and left without purchasing anything) where the lines were from the registers to the back wall of the store at 6:30 am!

Jack called it "bonding with the masses" and was quite chipper. I was a little tense in Big R where the aisles were narrow and merchandise was stacked sky high! We got everything on our list though and figure we save over $100. I now have snow boots and a jewelry box!

I have so many new things - the best being a loving husband!

I've packaged Brett's christmas gifts up and Jack and I are off to the post office to see if the shipping out distances the gifts! Hope everyone else is enjoying Post-Tday!

Wedding Day! Began at 4:30 am with our regular coffee and reading then off to the YMCA for workout class! Now showered and ready to go to the Daily Bagel for a latte and breakfast. After that Jack and I are heading out to collect some pine for the hearth to finish out the decorations.

The remainder of the day I am going to use getting foo-foo'd up. Hair, nails, clothes etc. Six o'clock seems far away but I know it will come quick!

Hope everyone is having a good time preparing for Thanksgiving. I certainly have a ton to be thankful for!

I can't get pictures to load into blogger on this PC! I took pictures of the flowers last night but can't get them posted here! I'll post them on flickr this weekend.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Flowers and candles are all in place in the livingroom for tomorrow evenings ceremony. We will be married in front of the fireplace at home by a minister and two friends will be here that will be our witnesses. Jack and I spent some time in seperate parts of the house writing our vows to each other. Lyle, the minister, will say the standard vows but we both wanted to say specail things to each other. I feel incrediably blessed. Once again it is proven that nothing happens by accident and God always has something even better in mind than I an imagine!

This ceremony is for legalities. We will be having a wedding celebration ceremony for family and friends in the Spring or early Summer and will say the same vows for you all to hear but will dress up and there will be music and dancing! Jack has agreed to a tuxedo and a wedding waltz! We will be taking a ballroom dancing class this winter! :-)

Well, I'm to excited to think of much else. I can't think of anything else right now anyway! Thank you to everyone that has wished us well and will be sending us loving thoughts tomorrow night at 6 PM!

Sis has been after me to update my blog so I really tried to last night but could not connect to the internet with my wireless card - I kept getting a message that the sevice area had to be updated and then it would "fail". Today I spent an hour on the phone with tech support with the results being - there is no service in Klamath Falls. The end of the wireless card. Now I am on Jack's computer and it is very nice to have a big screen and keyboard again!

I am in Klamath Falls now. Lock, stock, and barrel. I took my last final on Wednesday and we drove to Klamath Falls Thursday with all my stuff. We had spent Wednesday loading the Uhaul before I went to class so we were free to have dinner with Caleb and Kelly after class and were ready to go at 5:30 am Thursday.

Many great things have been happening. Here is the most beautiful ring in the world which Jack slipped on my finger last Friday! I have a picture that I'm trying to upload but keep getting an error so it may be tomorrow before I get it posted. Stay tuned!

Winter is HERE! Cold, rain, grey skies, wind. I almost didn't go to class for fear of the roads icing over and then after class wanted to drive to Klamath Falls! I called Oregon Highway Patrol and confirmed that there was patches of ice on the passes so I stayed in Portland.

I'm so tickled with life! I find myself singing the "Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch" lyrics that come over the radio. Silly I know but I'm enjoying it! And behind the scene is the knowing that this person is willing to commit to a permenent relationship - and understands that there are holes and bumps along the way! We did our own little version of speed dating while I was in Klamath Falls - and were very honest about our desires, hopes, and values. I figured if he got scared, better now than later. He didn't flinch - in fact he responded in like kind! When a 15 year oldtimer and a 20 year oldtimer get "honest" it is pretty awesome. A lot of truth and sincerity that I don't think the average people get to for many many dates!

Today is Signe's real birthday ~ so happy birthday to my very best friend! I hope it is full of good stuff!

Two more weeks of school and then I am on the road to Klamath Falls to a new vision of the future!

The drive to Klamath Falls Saturday afternoon was gorgeous. The sun was shining and the trees are all very brightly collored now. The is something about that big sky country! I know there are huge barren spots in that high mesa but where there are elm and pine it is bueatiful. I didn't get a single sinus headache for 3 days!

Signe and Jack's birthday party was a huge sucess! Susie had about 30 people there and tons of food! Jack met me with a big hug and a offer I intend to take him up on! I was the unofficial activity director so after cake we played Black Magic and then Worse Case Scenario, a survival game. There was a tarot card reader and we all had our turn having our cards read too.

Sunday Leo, Signe and I went to the morning breakfast meeting. Jack was there and asked me to dinner immediately - which I accepted. During the afternoon Susie, Signe and I walked our dogs on the hills over OIT and discussed our readings of the night before. Afterwards Leo, Signe and I went out to see the work Leo has done on the old house. He accomplished his goal of bringing it back to life and making is a very modern looking! At six Jack came to the door with a long stemmed red-rose for me. At dinner we talked until the resturant employees started standing around and we got the feeling we should go! We walked downtown Klamath Falls and I got to see all the changes that have occurred on Main street since I lived there 9 years ago. It was amazing! It feels like Jack and I have picked up where we stopped 10 years ago! We dated after my divorce in 1996 but went our seperate ways because we had different agendas as far as relationships were concerned. Seems like we've arrived that this space and time with the same idea! I returned to Signe and Leo's with my head swimming with all that Jack and I had discussed!

Monday I went to Roseburg and looked at the house. There was some holes in the walls but other than that a paint job is all that is needed. Rod, Wanita, John and Jack are going to help me get that done next Tuesday and Wednesday so hopefully the place will rent pretty quick.

I got to get my 20 year coin from my Wildlife homegroup Monday evening! It was good to see familiar faces in Roseburg!

Tuesday I came back to Portland and prepared for todays interviews. One was a bust and the other is still and unknown. I am ok with not getting them because I want to return to Klamath Falls. I think the Portland chapter is near it's end. I'm looking at the job listings in Klamath Falls now. :-)